No I Didn’t Come by Victoria Mbabazi

up until then I was under

the assumption that I’ll be ever changing

a chameleon I can learn to love both

I become stagnant I become good

at one thing I attempt to love him

a woman can exist on love the words

don’t belong to me still I become them

beauty and dying if I starve myself of me

I can pretend to love him I’ll get made up

and when he fucks me he won’t see me

float into the ceiling and if I love him

I forget that I am missing the fantasy

belongs to him this is performance I refuse to

disappoint the audience is intuitive don’t make me

figure out what I have to be and up until I was

twenty I thought I could swallow the dyke

but all my organs adapt to me